SPONGEBOB: Hey, Squidward.
Okay, I'll bite.
What is it, SpongeBob?
Do you know what today is?
Annoy Squidward day?
( SpongeBob laughs )
No, silly.
That's on the 15th.
Today's the beginning of the judging
for Employee of the Month.
SpongeBob, don't you know that award is a scam?
What do you mean?
Mr. Krabs gives you that award
so you'll work harder for no extra money.
That is not true, Squidward.
He gives it to me because I work harder.
You could win it, too, if you tried harder.
Oh, for what?
To get my face on the wall of shame?
Squidward, you've got it all wrong.
Having pride in your work is nothing to be ashamed of.
Why, it's the only thing that makes it all worthwhile.
Thattaboy, SpongeBob.
This is going to be a tough one, though.
There's no clear-cut winner.
Watch out, SpongeBob...
Squidward appears to be on the verge of a breakout.
There might be a new face on the wall this month.
Huh?
That's right, SpongeBob.
I might sneak up on you.
( laughing ) ( laughing )
No!
( sobbing )
How could I have let the quality of my work slip so much?
( laughing )
( grunting )
( screams )
( grunting )
SQUIDWARD: Need some help?
( screams )
What are you doing?
Making Krabby Patties?
You're losing it.
Don't you know that award is a load of...
...garbage.
Please, don't tell Mr. Krabs about this.
It'll hurt my chances of winning the award.
I already told you, that award is a bunch of...
baloney.
That is not true, Squidward.
Like this hat, the award is a symbol of...
It's a symbol that you're a chump.
( screams ) No, Squidward. Oh!
And this is a symbol of what I think
of the Employee of the Month award!
( clang ) Ow!
An experienced Employee of the Month
always keeps a brick of lead in his hat.
I'm telling you for the last time,
that award is nothing but a joke.
Oh!
What if Squidward's right?
What if the award is a phony?
Does this mean my whole body of work is meaningless?
Stow that kind of talk, sailor.
This is war now, Private.
That's exactly what he wants you to think.
This is no time to go lily-livered on us.
But, sir...
There's no room for "buts" in war, soldier.
He wants you to crack.
He's trying to trick you, get inside your mind.
You must stop at nothing...
and I mean nothing... to defeat him.
Have I made myself clear, Private?
Crystal, sir.
Good. Now move out!
I won't let Squidward win.
He can't go to work if he doesn't wake up.
Target sighted.
Huh?
( Squidward gargling )
Huh?
( muttering )
( giggles )
( screaming )
SpongeBob!
What are you doing here?
You can't win that award if you don't get up for work.
Huh?
Ha-ha.
( grunting )
Stop it, SpongeBob.
If I really wanted that award,
I could win it with my tentacles tied.
That can be arranged.
You're a lunatic, SpongeBob!
Maybe so, but I did win Employee of the Month 26 months in a row.
Are y... are you trying to say that you are better than me?
I've been better than you for 26 months... and it'll be 27 tomorrow.
Oh, that's it, square-for-brains, that's it!
I'm going to show you
how easy it is to win that award.
I'm going to be the new Employee of the Month.
I will prove to you I am far more competent than you.
Well, I'm going in early to wax the floors.
Don't bother, I'll have done it already
by the time you get there.
You'll have to get up pretty early
to get there before me.
I don't need the sleep... loser.
Well, me neither... 26-time loser.
Look at him, watching me.
I'm watching you, SpongeBob.
You're not leaving before me.
Hey, Squidward, getting sleepy, huh?
No. How about you?
Nope.
( playing lullaby )
Nighty-night.
( snoring )
( chuckling )
( screams )
SpongeBob!
Hey, Squidward.
Going somewhere?
I'm going to wring you dry when I get out of here.
Now, get me out of here.
Okay, Squidward.
I'll stop by after work.
SpongeBob...!
SpongeBob!
Now to get some rest.
Don't want to look tired for my Employee of the Month photo.
( snoring )
( grunting )
( hammering )
Squidward!
That ought to hold him.
( sawing )
( laughs )
( chuckling )
Huh?
Oh...
SpongeBob!
Why, you little...
Oh...
( laughing )
Hmm... a Krabby Patty.
( sniffing )
Ow!
( nasally ): Squidward!
So long, sponge loser.
( yells )
( laughs )
( Squidward laughs )
( SpongeBob laughs )
( Squidward laughs )
( both grunting and straining )
SpongeBob... truce.
Truce.
SpongeBob, I can't take it anymore.
If we keep this up, neither of us will win the award.
You're right.
We should save our energy for work
where we really need it.
Okay, let's have a good, clean fight.
And may the better man win.
He's nothing but a lying,
boneless, ink-squirting, big-nosed phony.
Look at that buck-toothed, corn-fed smile.
You can't trust him as far as you can throw him.
As soon as he stops shaking my hand...
I'm going to make a run for it.
( both laugh nervously )
( gasping and panting )
♪ Money, money, going to make some money... ♪
( squishing and squirting )
( gasping and panting )
Ah, it warms me wallet to see me employees coming in so early.
( gasping and panting )
Boys, you're early.
( gasping and panting )
Wait...!
( crashing and clattering )
Look, Mr. Krabs, clean floors!
Clean tables, Mr. Krabs!
Clean dishes, Mr. Krabs!
What's going on here?
It's more efficient
to clean dishes this way, Mr. Krabs.
No!
Flowers and chocolates for you, Mr. Krabs!
Look, I'm putting my own money into the register, Mr. Krabs!
Two spatulas to increase productivity, Mr. Krabs!
Faster, SpongeBob, faster.
There's nothing to this patty flipping, Mr. Krabs.
I'll easily double your output, sponge hog!
Boys, boys, boys!
Wha... help!
Help!
Hey, free Krabby Patties!
Hey, look at that, Krabby Patties!
KRABS: Wait, you've got to pay for those.
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Boys, the Krabby Patties!
So, who's the winner of Employee of the Month?
Me, me, me...! Me, me, me...!
Wait! Boys, the Krabby Patties!
Boys, wait...!